it is true that to speak on these matters in public is inviting opprobrium. People have already (as I suspected they would) complained to other senior Vaishnavas about me.
People hear the word "sex" and they immediately respond with their deepest samskaras.
Sex is the desire for love manifest in the human body. Love is the desire for giving and receiving the pleasure of union. Union with the non-physical normally does not precede union on the physical plane. Even while the experience of union on the physical plane without spiritual maturity is a pipe dream.
Union with God based on disgust with the material world is not love. It is mukti.
The human organism has many levels. The foolish think they can reach the spirit and the soul without first purifying the gross body, the prana body, the mental body, the vijnana body, the ananda-maya body.
Similarly the experience of love is beyond the body, but just like the lotus flower grows out of mud, this human form of life is the basis of our highest and most transcendental experiences. To say, "I am not this body" and then deny the body is the path of asceticism, which has been rejected by Buddha, by the yogis, but most of all by the bhaktas.
This does not mean that one does not engage in tapas, i.e., giving up sense pleasures for the sake of one's spiritual endeavor, i.e., prioritizing your spiritual life over your mundane predilections. Brahmacharya is a great tapas, and the householder who practices it attains the perfection of his ashram.
Jugupsa and madhura-rati.